For my screen reader friends….
- A monstrous, angry roar rises up over Redmond. The sound of chairs being smashed accompanies.
- Simultaneously, the heartbreaking sound of two forlorn geeks sobbing floats over the Google campus.
- Tweets are now to be known as iTweets.
- All iTweets have to be approved by Apple censors before posting.
- In protest, Leo Laporte starts calling his iTweets “Netcalls”.
- aplush calls on his followers to abandon Twitter for his new service. Apple censors his post, and no one sees it.
- iTweet lengths are shortened to 100 characters, to make things simpler.
- Apple buys Tweetie. Soon after, Apple releases iTwitter. All other third party Twitter apps are declared in conflict with the Mothership, and outlawed.
- iTwitter becomes the most popular ap ever. Productivity falls. World enters severe economic depression. No one really notices at first, since they are too busy wasting time on iTwitter.
- Microsoft introduces Zzitter, its entry into the social networking scene. By month’s end, over 35 people have signed up to sent “zits” to their friends.
- World Health Organization declared an iTwitter pandemic alert phase 6. In other news, Obama’s dog Bo reaches four billion followers.
- Steve Jobs snaps out of an iTwitter haze. In an attempt to restore Apple’s reputation for “just working”, he orders the shut down of Twitter. World productivity soars, the Great Depression II ends. Tech Bubble 3.0 begins
- Apple auctions off the Twitter.com domain. Nostalgic Tech Bubble 3.0 millionaires buy it for 1 billion dollars. Evan and Boz smile wistfully… for Twitter has made money.
[Via The Joy of Tech]
