Last night I stayed up late until 4 in the morning arguing with my computer. She can be a bitch, but I can be stubborn. A reset button was involved a few times, but that’s not the point I still won. I am on vacation though, and I can afford to stay up that late. I have grown me a gotee and everything since I have been on leave. The wife doesn’t mind cause I was awake to take care of the baby. However, she was also sleeping the entire time and had no clue when I actually came to bed. So, when she woke me at 8 in the morning to get the baby I had only 4 hours sleep and my main concern was making the baby quiet so I can go back to bed.
I got out of bed wearing just my boxers, didn’t put anything else on, didn’t care. Made a bottle, fed the baby, burped the baby…, and just as I went to lay her down I could hear a rather unpleasant muffled sound coming from under the diaper. Now, experience tells me that when the baby starts to poop, you wait until she cries. Why? Cause she cries when she is done. After 4 hours of sleep though by brain was thinking about nothing but the nice soft warm bed. And not wanting to get up later, I decided to change her then. The baby still has diarrhea so it makes a nasty wet sound and most of the time leaks out of the diaper. I could really gross you out with the details but I’ll save them for later when I have nothing to write about.
I removed the diaper, cleaned her up, and just lifted her legs to put the clean diaper underneath when she pooped again. However, this time it had a little bit of force too it, maybe from me squeezing her stomach from lifting her legs, or maybe she was really trying to hold it just for this case. But she shot liquid shit about two feet directly at me. Hit me square in the groin and all over my boxers. Not just one spot, from left hip to right hip. I let out a scream like a 5 year old school girl. My wife came running, she sees me holding the baby’s legs up so not to get shit on the blanket underneath, a clean diaper in the other hand, and shit running down the front of me. I get a look like “What did you do?” and I return a look like “This is your daughter!”. Needless to say my wife was wonderful enough to finish up for me so I could go clean up. I have been unable to go back to sleep, but I will be a little more awake next time I change a diaper after 4 hours sleep.
